365

January came and is about to leave us. Alot has happened this month - some people are departing, some are transferring, some remain true to their conviction, some just gave up trying. Whichever camp you belong to, its your life and you have approximately 344 days to live it so take control.

I shall leave you with an interesting video about how the year, month and day were derived (subhan Allah!):

P/S: Happy birthday to dear SS, SL, YB and Azhar :)

Don't Sigh

It is human nature to seek answers. Interesting enough, as we seek answers, the QalamulLah (Quran) already provided the answers:

1. We ask, "Why am I being tested?"
The Quran answered in Surah Al-Ankaboot:2-3, "Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? Lo! We tested those who were before them. Thus Allah knoweth those who are sincere, and knoweth those who feign."

2. We ask, "Why a test to this extent?"
The Quran answered in Surah Al-Baqara:286, "Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved..."

3. We ask, "Why I do not get what I yearned for?"
The Quran answered in Surah Al-Baqara:216, "...but it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not."

4. We ask, "Why we feel frustrated?"
The Quran answered in Surah Al-Imran:139, "Faint not nor grieve, for ye will overcome them if ye are (indeed) believers."

5. We ask, "How can I counter this frustration?"
The Quran answered in Surah Al-Baqara:45, "Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble-minded..."

6. We ask, "What do I get from all this?"
The Quran answered in Surah At-Tawba:111, "Lo! Allah hath bought from the believers their lives and their wealth because the Garden will be theirs..."

7. We ask, "Who do I turn to?"
The Quran answered in Surah At-Tawba:129, "...Allah sufficeth me. There is no God save Him. In Him have I put my trust, and He is Lord of the Tremendous Throne."

Afterthought: It is seemingly counter productive to sigh. Everyone has 2 choices - be accoubtable for your life and do something about it or wallow in self-pity and lament your poor situation in silence, thank you.

Family Gathering

Today shall be a short post. My cousins from KL would be dropping by later and my cousin from Kluang will also arrive shortly. As my relatives are widely dispersed across Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia and one currently finishing her studies in Australia while another in Canada... it is times like these when we gather around at grams and catch up with each other's life. Enjoy the long weekend, folks (I know I definitely will!)

P/S: Happy birthday to Aunt B! :)

Islam's Journey

Sheikh Abdul Halim triggered this post. Being the inquisitive creature that I am, I decided to 'investigate' since he posed the challenge about figuring out how Islam reached South East Asia :)

From the early days of Islam, there were two routes eastwards: the land route and the sea route to China which, for example, the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W - Saad ibn Abi Waqqas sailed.

Accounts of how Islam spread to this region vary according to different translations. Nonetheless, anyone keen to understand the History of Islam should read the book by Professor Masud ul-Hassan. Or you can read the simplified version of "The Coming and Spread of Islam in South East Asia" here and here.

Afterthought: The deeper I dug, the more I want to know the Origins of Islam... hmm, its an assignment on its own but its worthwhile because it strengthens my Islamic identity, Subhan Allah. Read 1000 years of missing Muslim heritage.

2011

They say "A house is not a home". I'm just glad my nephews will get a nice roof over their heads by end of 2011 and may their home be filled with laughter and love as they grow up to be useful citizens of the world. Truly, blessed is a family that stays together, ameen!

Afterthought: In retrospect, I recalled countless stories about our beloved Prophet SAW and how simply he lived a life full of substance for the Hereafter. Truly, he is the exemplar beyond compare. That simple life is all that I desire - "Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire." Ameen. [Surah al-Baqarah: 201]

Gentle Reminder

Allow me to kickstart the  new islamic year with this post...May we benefit from this constant reminder...

Before Imam Syafie returned to rahmatulLah, he said,
"Whoever wants to leave this world safely, practice these 10 habits":

1. Be accountable to ALLAH SWT.
Invite others to good deeds, prevent others from bad deeds, love piety and abhor vices.

2. Be accountable to our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW
Salawat to the Prophet, hold steadfastly to the Syaria’ law, rely on the As-Sunnah (Hadith), love Prophet’s sahabat and compete in seeking Allah’s pleasure

3. Be accountable to oneself
Less sleep, less food, less speech (aka more ibadah), be content and prudent with one’s wealth.

4. Be accountable to the Angel of death
Complete ibadah left behind previously and do them in multiples, seek forgiveness from those oppressed or discriminated, be prepared for death and love Allah SWT.

5. Be accountable to your grave
Avoid urinating all over, conduct more Tahajud and help those who are oppressed or disciminated.

6. Be accountable to good and evil (Munkar and Nakir)
Abstain from telling lies, speak the truth, leave vices and constantly give advice or receive advice to remind each other to do good.

7. Be accountable to the scale (Mizan)
Suppress anger, more zikir, sincere in deeds and willingness to bear hardships without complaining

8. Be accountable to the bridge (Sirat)
Avoid back-biting, be pious, help the pious, prefer congregational prayer to praying alone

9. Be accountable to the Gatekeeper of hell (Malik)
Fear Allah SWT, be kind to and patient with your parents, donate publicly or in secret, improve one’s akhlak.

10. Be accountable to the Gatekeeper of heaven (Ridhwan)
Submit to Allah’s will, be patient during hardships, be thankful for Allah’s bounty and repent from sins.

P/S: Happy birthday dear Muris :)

Dads for Life

"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" - Lydia M. Child

An interesting conversation over dinner triggered this post. It is not about "It is cool to have kids"... although I know that was not the true intention of the comment.

Parenting is a lifetime commitment and Obama said it best when he says it takes courage to be a dedicated parent. To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is coz it doesn't matter who he was; it matters who the child remember he was...

This heartwarming video is a tribute to the fathers and 'future' fathers out there, enjoy :)

GrandPa

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count; it's the life in your years. Because I've loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die."

When aunt Sophie told me that Grandpa has frank diabetes, I was surprised especially since my maternal family does not have a genetic history of diabetes. Aunt Sophie explained that it was due to his lymphoma going through a relapse and that sometimes diabetes is an outcome or a sign of the impending pancreatic cancer. My heart just sank.

When I was staying with Grams a few years back, we fought the lymphoma and grandpa was in remission then. And to hear the bad news now... it seems unfathomed! Mum told me that we cannot fight fate... but that does not mean that we give up fighting. I pray that grandpa will continue to do his glucose check and take his regular dose of medicine. Aunt Sophie's words kept ringing in my head "he's a walking time bomb due to his heart condition, diabetes, lymphoma".

No one could truly empathise with what grandpa is going through. Being the quiet old man who would rather fight his battles in silence than complain and cause anxiety among his wife and kids, I truly understand why he is the way he is. He said before "I'm ready to die"... and his time will come... I wish that the immediate and extended family are willing to let him go when his time comes. Regardless, we love you, grams *hugs*

P/S: Please pray for the wellbeing of this man whom we love dearly.

San Jose

I was supposed to be at San Jose last week but due to certain circumstances, I could not be there. Nonetheless, I'm glad to be able to at least read what a good pal has taken away from the sessions there [thanks Maish for sharing] :)

Idul Adha

"It is He Who hath made you the inheritors of the earth: He hath raised you in ranks, some above others: that He may try you in the gifts He hath given you: For thy Lord is quick in punishment: yet He is indeed Oft-forgiving Most Merciful"

Have you ever, in the midst of a hectic day, pause to wonder, "What exactly is our purpose on this earth?"

As mum and I bid farewell to Aunt Sophie and hubby who are heading to Mecca for the Hajj or Pilgrimage, I'm reminded of the fact that man's role on earth is as a servant and vicegerent of Allah SWT. May I don't lose sight of what is truly important, God willing.

P/S: Mum, I know it has been your desire to visit the Holy land. I pray that Allah SWT will allow me to take you to Mecca in the near future, Insya Allah.

Biker Bliss

The ride from Bugis back home was exhilirating. I did it, Regy so don't doubt my ability alright, ha! Hmm, can't remember when was the last time I rode a bike... must have been ages! You know that feeling of being free, that's how it feels riding a bike, the world is your's alone and just spend sometime for I, Me and Myself and leave the madness behind ;P

Anyway, as promised, I will fully optimise it while Regy is away in San Jose/San Francisco the next 2 weeks, heavenly bliss!

P/S: Dear Regy, read this. Have a safe flight! ;)

Conscious Marriage

I finally finished Dance of Love. Verdict: I agree with the ending in finding your other half who shares your belief or spirituality because it is much easier to raise a family when both parents have similar core values and belief system - "The mind seeks an easy relationship; the heart seeks a spiritual partner. The more a relationship supports each person in awakening to a spiritual aspect, the more expansive, spontaneous, wonderful and passionate it will be."

The next book I'm reading has a similar ring to it "Conscious Marriage: A New Model for Making Marriage Work". Stay tuned.

P/S #1: I will definitely read Unconventional, recommended by the author himself, J.J [thanks for adding me to your Shelfari contact list and for your word of encouragement!]

P/S #2: Happy birthday to dear Luke :)

Love is All Around

"Give me tranquillity, calm the storm that exists in my skin. Give me springs to enjoy, days that go away don't have to return. It can be the voice of your peace and love... help me to change today and make me be better."

The evening jog to Cascadale and back did some good. The moral of the story for the week - strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday. I'll end this short post with a song by Robbie Williams:

P.S: It was nice catching up with mum, who just got back from KL.

More 2 Life

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Opportunities presented themselves to me this week. Just when I was mentally toying with the idea of 'greener pastures', offers came a knocking, partly due to the visibility I get via my LinkedIn account. Allah knows what is best for me and with time, the story will unravel itself, so stay tuned! I’ll end this post with a nice video (depicting my current state of mind at this juncture).

P.S: The networking tonight with the corporate group went well. Given a choice, I'd rather spend more quality time with my family and lil cousins (miss you guys, focus on your exams and we'll have a blast afterwards)

Keep the Faith

Today shall be a short post. I leave you with this nice melody (English version here) by talents from our shores, enjoy!

On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property. As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. - Emmanuel Teney

Patience

Someday, maybe there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. - Eric Erickson

Today, I felt compelled to share my thoughts about a topic close to my heart - children. With the impending divorce surrounding a friend and a cousin, instinctively my heart goes out to the children who probably won't truly understand why is there a need for dad and mum to live in two separate places. Mum said there are many factors that make or break a family unit such as external factors (outside 'distractions', extended family, etc) or internal undercurrents due to the lack of communication or a clash in personalities and values.

And that a marriage can withstand the test of time if there is a genuine connection between two persons, complemented by honesty, integrity, solid communication and that willingness to keep working on the relationship. Hold steadfastly to your faith and be close to Allah SWT as you go about your role, right mum?

With the best of intentions, I pray that I would have the constant faith and patience and not put my future kids through such an ordeal, so help me God, Ameen!

Halal.Haram.Syubha.

Just had a discussion with my uncle about chocolates. Its not easy just by looking at the ingredients to see if the product contains halal ingredients because halal also encompasses the process of making the product.

For illustrative purpose, I used to LURVE Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Bueno and Nutella...Found out that Ferrero products can be haram due to the following ingredients:

Soya lecithin E322
These are emulsifiers obtained from animal or vegetable materials through physical procedures. Most lecithins are commercially obtained from soya beans. MUIS classify this as Shubha by way of its source or manufacturing process; advised to avoid products with this ingredient.
Source - MUIS list of additives pdf

Calf rennet
Rennet is used to make cream, butter, cheese, drinks, etc and is extracted from animal stomach and is Halal (in the form of cheese, etc) even when extracted from an animal that has not been slaughtered Islamically according to Hazrat Imam Abu Hanifah (rahmatullahialay) BUT it is better to abstain from it and whey carries the same ruling.
Source - Muslim Food Guide, page 10, 2000

Whey powder
Whey is a product of the clotting of milk.

Halal Status of Whey
The media and the type of rennet may influence the halal status of whey produced from them.

The following are the requirements for us to be sure that the whey is halal:
- Mother culture media has to be halal.
- Bulk culture media has to be halal.
- Microbial rennet preparation has to be used.
- Dryers where liquid whey is dried to make whey solid or powder should not be used to dry animal based media and rennet whey to avoid contamination.

It is advised that we restrict ourselves to only halal or kosher certified whey as shown by the halal or kosher symbols such as UD, KD, and COR.

Non-halal or Kosher certified whey made even with non-animal based media and microbial rennet is not recommended because the cheese manufacturer can change the media and rennet source any time without notifying Muslim consumers.

The enzyme most commonly used to make cheese is rennet, which comes from the stomach of calves. The rennet is Halal if the calf was slaughtered according to Islamic requirements. Whey prepared with microbial enzymes is Halal. Whey is used in processed foods such as crackers. Call the food manufacturer to determine the source of the whey.

Another source indicated that some Ferrero products from UK are halal:
Ferrero UK Limited
Halal – Kinder – Bueno, Chocolate, Surprise; Tic Tac – Fresh Mint, Lime/Orange, Orange
Ferrero Rocher Chocolates – contains calf whey powder/syrup

Yet another source have indicated ingredients such as alcohol flavourings which can be halal (alcohol halal? hmm) or haram (containing calf rennet).

Conclusion:
It is not easy to find UK made chocs (saw some at Guardian but on rare occassions). So as a precautionary measure, always check if the 3 ingredients mentioned above are present. It is better to err on the side of caution, don't you think?

A non-muslim pal asked before why is it important for Muslims to eat halal? Islam is a religion, which encourages its practitioners to eat halal and safe food from Allah's bounty.

Just the thought of 'tainting' my system with haram food and then prostrating to Allah SWT with a 'tainted' body just does not cut it for me. We have to submit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to be a true a Muslim or Muslima.

After all, we live but a mere few seconds on this earth... such supposedly 'incoveniences' when weighed on the scale are insignificant to the life we look forward to in Jannah, insya Allah :)

Walla hualam bissawab

Birthday Boy Irfan

Here's my warmest birthday wish to Irfan *muah*

Allow me to share this quote (thanks to u, u know who u are):

In modesty and humility, be like the earth.
In tolerance, be like the sea.
In generosity and helping others, be like the river.
In compassion and grace, be like the sun.
In concealing others' faults, be like the night.
And in anger and fury, be like the dead.

Approval & Blessings

The prudence of the best heads is often defeated by the tenderness of the best of hearts - Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)

When I saw this nice quote, it immediately brought me back to the discussion I had with a dear old friend over the weekend. No matter how obstinate a stubborn parent is, once tended with constant tenderness by the best intentions, things will fall into place. I wish him all the best :)

It was nice spending a quiet evening with mum. Hope you love the specs!

Dance of Love

"Relationship is a powerful, often dizzying dance of polarities - sometimes delightful and seductive, sometimes fierce and combative, sometimes energizing, sometimes exhausting... The dance of relationship always involves alterations - between coming together and moving apart, taking hold and letting go, yielding and taking the lead, giving ourselves and maintaining integrity. It is not an easy dance to learn. Many people soon loose the rythm and wind up deadlocked in opposing positions, knowing only how to attack or withdraw."

Most books talk about "What's wrong with relationships and how we can fix them?" and the beauty of this book is that it focuses on "What's right about relationships that are already working successfully?" with concrete examples from real couples the author interviewed for this book.

Relationships or any form of commitment for that matter, are never easy... so is marriage, both parties have to work on it. The love experience is largely that of our own essence, as it is evoked by the presence of the other. Presence means presenting our own essence, taking off the masks and defenses, having our hearts open. It is the commitment to work diligently on their relationships, to persevere in resolving any difficulties and to consistently support each other.

I love the use of analogy of yoga to describe relationships - relationship requires awareness, focus, intent and consistent practice.It teaches us to stretch and strengthen parts of ourselves, to take unfamiliar positions while remaining centered and in balance, to direct our energy in new ways and to relax. We have the choice to be protective and avoid pain, or to open and learn to work with it. Yoga is challenging and invigorating, hard work and great fun. It gets easier and brings new insights as we move along the path. And it requires... commitment, commitment to integrity, to embrace our wholeness and the wholeness of our partner... seeing the oneness while seeking resolution of differences, without attempts at manipulating one to satisfy the other.

Hmm, the book asks if you have been in a relationship where in large or small ways, agreeing to things that you don't want to do? How often do you lie about your feelings or behaviour for fear of rejection, anger, loss, pain or hurting someone's feelings? And how often are you able to maintain your integrity in the face of those fears? These are questions worth exploring.

The books encourages us to practice the Voice Dialogue - recognising our inner selves: the pusher, pleaser, controller, critic, vulnerable child, rebel, good parent, and many more. Giving the various selves a voice helps us discover what each one feels and thinks, what it needs and what it has to offer. Some of these are primary selves, those which we most value and identify with as who we are. Opposite each primary self is a disowned self, one which we judge as bad or deny exists. When some selves take exclusive control and others are shut down, inaccessible, we are automatically out of integrity. All aspects of our wholeness want to be recognised, accepted and integrated in some way.

Interestingly, our partners will often embody the selves we disown (polar opposites attract) and this can be a source of great conflict for couples or else they can come to appreciate that each partner holds an energy that the couple needs to develop... bottomline we need to look out for complementary characteristics in that each partner brought balance and new ways of being for the other to integrate - the key: allowance, agreeing and disagreeing at times. And being mindful or one's Aware Ego is the central aspect of personality which recognises and honors all the many facets of ourselves, consciously choosing which energies to bring into expression at a given time.

I've just finished chapter 2 of chapter 9 and what I gather from this book is that relationships require self-awareness, persistence, flexibility, patience and lots of honest communication, which is the subject of the the subsequent chapters so stay tuned!